whatever you do, it all matters
so do what you do, don't ever forget
to do everything you do to the glory of the One who made you
(this video makes me smile every time. Steven Curtis Chapman is awesome)
For many writers, the question "when did you start writing" traces back to early childhood but that wasn't the case for me.
I was 12 years old. I was living with my grandparents, who were jumping through legal hoops to make it so I could continue to stay there instead of returning home and in addition to dealing with my alcoholic father and troubled brother, we had lawyers and judges and social workers in the picture. Things were a bit of a mess.
While my grandparents dealt with the legal aspects of the situation, I was required to attend counselling. Going to the weekly sessions felt like a waste of time, but I know it would help when it came to convincing a judge that I was capable of deciding where I wanted to live so I went. I can honestly say I don't remember a lot about those sessions.
Except the homework assignments.
I don't know how it came up but one of the counsellors I saw decided that a writing activity might be good for me. I couldn't tell you what that first assignment was or what I wrote, but what I do know is that after that first assignment, I started writing all. the. time.
I brought a notebook and a pen with me everywhere and wrote whenever I had time. Journal entries, fan fiction, short stories...you name it. The stuff I wrote wasn't very good - cringe-worthy is an appropriate descriptor - but that's OK. Looking at it now, I can see it for what it was: my coping mechanism, my way of dealing with all the craziness going on in my life.
My relationship with writing has changed a lot over time, but the last couple years have been the most challenging. Although I love my job, I did not anticipate writing every day for work would have a toll on my ability to pursue other creative projects. After writing all day for work, the idea of going home to write left me feeling exhausted, uninspired and unmotivated.
When I finally finished (a term I use loosely, since the story would require a heavy rewrite before I could ever think of showing it to another person. It's that bad.) a project I'd been working on for at least two years last summer, I thought all those feelings were to blame for the drawn out timeline. My intention was to take some time off from writing, spend some time reading and let that story sit for a while so I could revisit and try to fix it. Instead, I found myself diving into a new project almost immediately and the first draft was finished in months. Of course, that draft is awful and needs so much work but unlike anything I've ever worked on before, I found myself inspired every time I sat at the keyboard. The words to that first draft came easily.
I've known since university that one of the things I want to do in life is write novels for teen girls. Sarah Dessen has been my favourite writer since I read Someone Like You for the first time when I was nine. I think this age group is so, so important - but it wasn't until I started working on my last project that I realized my aspirations ran deeper.
I want to write faith-based young adult fiction. Christian YA.
That's not a sentence I ever thought I'd write. I've read a lot of Christian fiction over the years and while some of it has been fantastic, more often than not I've found it incredibly difficult to relate to. That's what I've always liked about Sarah Dessen - her characters are easy to relate to, the problems they deal with are problems teen girls deal with and generally, the stories feel authentic. She gets her audience and I think that's important.
I want to write for young adults, but the most important member of my audience is God. I can't rightly say I've given God my heart and then keep something that's such an important part of my life from him.
Whether anything will come out of this or not, I can't be sure. There's a good chance these stories will just stay hidden away in a folder on my harddrive, collecting virtual dust. That's out of my control and in God's hands.
And I'm OK with that. I'd rather write for God and go unread by others than keep others from knowing Him by filtering Him out.
And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
Colossians 3:23-24
