That probably sounds ridiculous - like, how could a person misunderstand such a BASIC element of his/her personality? - but it's true. Growing up, calling myself an extrovert made sense to me; I was involved in drama club, a hardcore NSSSAer (for those not from Nova Scotia: student leadership organization that puts on big conferences across the province every year. Conferences basically involve a lot of working in groups to develop skills, special speakers and a lot of cheering/dancing), and a regular soloist in my church choir.
Friendly, outgoing, talkative...those were all words I felt described me well, and that seemed consistent with the idea of being an extrovert so logic would suggest I must be an extrovert, right?
That's what I thought. And while I wouldn't say the label had a big - or any - kind of conscious impact on my life, for many years, I tried to live like the extrovert I thought I was. In high school, I had a club or committee meeting at lunch just about every day. I spoke up in class and never had to worry about participation marks. I was always around people - whether it was at work, where I got paid to ring in groceries and talk to strangers, at church, or out with friends. Even when I was alone, I wasn't really - if I was on my computer, I was talking to friends on messenger and, when I finally got a cell phone, I was texting.
My schedule was packed and I was exhausted.
All. The. Time. Physically, but also mentally and emotionally.
I've since learned the physical exhaustion probably had more to do with an undiagnosed thyroid condition. I'm on medication for it, and I'm hoping it's going to make a difference. But the physical side of it was far less of an issue than the mental and emotional. The reality: as much as I loved people, I found being around them too long and/or too often left me feeling burned out.
While some of those ideas apply to me, it's that first sentence that is key. Fact is large groups and busy social calendars don't leave me feeling energized. It's actually quite the opposite.
That last sentence sums up the tension for me: I like the idea of being an extrovert better than I like actually living that life.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love my friends/family/loved ones. I love getting to know people, learning more about them, and (when applicable) helping them tell their stories. I love adventure and going out and trying new things.
But I also need time to be alone. To relax and reflect. To process things and think them through. To feel like myself and allow me to function properly.
Why am I writing about this?
Mostly because because I have not found a way to achieve any meaningful balance in this area of my life. I'm either goinggoinggoing all the time, or I'm at home on my couch, binge-watching Scandal in my pyjamas, eating chips. I'm on my phone all the time, or I'm checking messages sporadically. I'm meal planning, getting enough exercise, and sleeping well each night, or I'm eating fast food, skipping my workouts, and getting seven hours of shut-eye, and that's on a good night.
It's one extreme to another. Neither works. I'm either pouring myself out to others at the expense of the quiet time and space I need, or I'm being fiercely protective of that time alone at the expense of my relationships with others.
I'm not an extrovert. But, the more I think about it, I'm not an introvert, either.
The Advocate
Code: INFJ-T
Role: Diplomat
Strategy: Constant improvement
INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.
INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance...they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.
To INFJs, the world is a place full of inequality - but it doesn't have to be.
Reality though, it is most important for INFJs to remember to take care of themselves. The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal gets out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed.
Strengths: creative, insightful, inspiring and convincing, decisive, determined and passionate, altruistic
Weaknesses: sensitive, extremely private, perfectionist, always need to have a cause, can burn out easily.
This is me. Some traits more than others, but for the most part, that description provides a pretty clear idea of what I'm about.
I care deeply about people.
I like helping others, even if there's nothing in it for me.
I don't think things are as they should be
+ I refuse to believe there's nothing I can do about it.
Lately, I have been living in a strange space. I've come to some huge realizations and made some big decisions in recent months that will play a big role in shaping the future. And while I mostly feel relieved, I also feel a little impatient. Expectant. Like I'm in a place where I'm waiting for something to happen.
I mentioned this to my dear friend, Laura, the other night. True to the more introverted side of my INFJ personality, I have a handful of really close friends and despite only knowing Laura for a couple of years, she's part of my inner circle - one of the people who I tell everything to, who I can honestly say knows me well.
Laura is a tremendous woman of God with a huge heart for encouraging and loving others well. She's also very pregnant, so she knows a thing or two about the whole waiting for something to happen thing. Naturally, after I stumbled through my explanation of how I've been feeling, she had the perfect word for me.
As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.
"Sometimes His plans, no matter what they are in our lives, need to have these waiting periods to perfect and grow to the healthy spot they need to be before they're revealed to us."
I don't know what the next step is going to look like in my life. Nor do I know how long it's going to take for that next step to be clear.
What I do know is this: as anxious as I am for the future to be revealed to me now, God's timing will always be better than mine. Which means my job is simple: to be patient, always remembering he is more faithful than I could begin to imagine.
Extraversion (E)
I like getting my energy from active involvement in events and having a lot of different activities. I'm excited when I'm around people and I like to energize other people. I like moving into action and making things happen. I generally feel at home in the world. I often understand a problem better when I can talk out loud about it and hear what others have to say.While some of those ideas apply to me, it's that first sentence that is key. Fact is large groups and busy social calendars don't leave me feeling energized. It's actually quite the opposite.
Introversion (I)
I like getting my energy from dealing with the ideas, pictures, memories, and reactions that are inside my head, in my inner world. I often prefer doing things alone or with one or two people I feel comfortable with. I take time to reflect so that I have a clear idea of what I'll be doing when I decide to act. Ideas are almost solid things for me. Sometimes I like the idea of something better than the real thing.That last sentence sums up the tension for me: I like the idea of being an extrovert better than I like actually living that life.
Now, don't get me wrong: I love my friends/family/loved ones. I love getting to know people, learning more about them, and (when applicable) helping them tell their stories. I love adventure and going out and trying new things.
But I also need time to be alone. To relax and reflect. To process things and think them through. To feel like myself and allow me to function properly.
Why am I writing about this?
Mostly because because I have not found a way to achieve any meaningful balance in this area of my life. I'm either goinggoinggoing all the time, or I'm at home on my couch, binge-watching Scandal in my pyjamas, eating chips. I'm on my phone all the time, or I'm checking messages sporadically. I'm meal planning, getting enough exercise, and sleeping well each night, or I'm eating fast food, skipping my workouts, and getting seven hours of shut-eye, and that's on a good night.
It's one extreme to another. Neither works. I'm either pouring myself out to others at the expense of the quiet time and space I need, or I'm being fiercely protective of that time alone at the expense of my relationships with others.
I'm not an extrovert. But, the more I think about it, I'm not an introvert, either.
Code: INFJ-T
Role: Diplomat
Strategy: Constant improvement
INFJs tend to see helping others as their purpose in life, but while people with this personality type can be found engaging rescue efforts and doing charity work, their real passion is to get to the heart of the issue so that people need not be rescued at all.
INFJs will act with creativity, imagination, conviction and sensitivity not to create advantage, but to create balance...they tend to believe that nothing would help the world so much as using love and compassion to soften the hearts of tyrants.
To INFJs, the world is a place full of inequality - but it doesn't have to be.
Reality though, it is most important for INFJs to remember to take care of themselves. The passion of their convictions is perfectly capable of carrying them past their breaking point and if their zeal gets out of hand, they can find themselves exhausted, unhealthy and stressed.
Strengths: creative, insightful, inspiring and convincing, decisive, determined and passionate, altruistic
Weaknesses: sensitive, extremely private, perfectionist, always need to have a cause, can burn out easily.
This is me. Some traits more than others, but for the most part, that description provides a pretty clear idea of what I'm about.
I care deeply about people.
I like helping others, even if there's nothing in it for me.
I don't think things are as they should be
+ I refuse to believe there's nothing I can do about it.
Lately, I have been living in a strange space. I've come to some huge realizations and made some big decisions in recent months that will play a big role in shaping the future. And while I mostly feel relieved, I also feel a little impatient. Expectant. Like I'm in a place where I'm waiting for something to happen.
I mentioned this to my dear friend, Laura, the other night. True to the more introverted side of my INFJ personality, I have a handful of really close friends and despite only knowing Laura for a couple of years, she's part of my inner circle - one of the people who I tell everything to, who I can honestly say knows me well.
Laura is a tremendous woman of God with a huge heart for encouraging and loving others well. She's also very pregnant, so she knows a thing or two about the whole waiting for something to happen thing. Naturally, after I stumbled through my explanation of how I've been feeling, she had the perfect word for me.
As you do not know the way the spirit comes to the bones in the womb of a woman with child, so you do not know the work of God who makes everything.
Ecclesiastes 11:5
"Sometimes His plans, no matter what they are in our lives, need to have these waiting periods to perfect and grow to the healthy spot they need to be before they're revealed to us."
I don't know what the next step is going to look like in my life. Nor do I know how long it's going to take for that next step to be clear.
What I do know is this: as anxious as I am for the future to be revealed to me now, God's timing will always be better than mine. Which means my job is simple: to be patient, always remembering he is more faithful than I could begin to imagine.
Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. Of his own will, he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of first fruits of his creatures.
James 1: 16-18
