And let us not be weary in doing well: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.
Galatians 6:9
I like winter. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say it's my favourite season.
It begins in November. The days start getting shorter, the air is cool and crisp and the stores start putting up decorations - white lights, Christmas bulbs, glitter everywhere and on everything. I like the first snow and I like scarves and mittens and winter coats; I like turning on the oven and spending the evening in the kitchen baking and I like spending too much money on gifts for the people I love most.
I like how December and January and February feel enough to put up with the things like terrible driving conditions and the ridiculously cold weather that comes with living in Atlantic Canada.
But, as much as I like winter, there comes a point where I'm ready for it to be over - where I'm ready for the snow to melt, for spring jackets and warmer temperatures, for more light.
And like most people I know, I am well beyond that point by now.
It's almost the end of April and it snowed last week. Not a lot and it didn't stick around long, but leaving my Wednesday night dance class and seeing that thin layer of snow on the grass was disheartening. We're seeing some nicer days, some blue skies and sunshine, but there are still so many dark days. It's been bumming me out - there's no other way to put it.
I am in a strange place in just about every area of my life right now, caught somewhere between the shadow and light. It doesn't make a lot of sense to me because in so many ways, things are going well.
Work is great - my schedule has changed, which is allowing me to focus on some things I've been wanting to tackle for a while. I've been producing work I'm happy with and, in a couple weeks, I'll be heading to Halifax for an award gala where I've been nominated in a category recognizing early career work (I don't expect to win, but it's still pretty cool to be nominated). My social life is great - I've been spending a lot of time with friends and the next few weeks are going to be busy between a bachelorette party, a concert, the above mentioned award ceremony, a long-weekend wedding and my partner's birthday. My partner and I recently celebrated three years together and things are going great. There have been some not so great things over the last few months - dental bills I can't afford, health scares in the family, a car that constantly needs repairs - but for the most part, I know I have it good.
And yet, despite these wonderful things, there are days when I just don't want to get out of bed because it's dark and grey and miserable out there and I don't want any part of it.
Winter 2014 has been too long. I like the feeling the season brings, but I am a lover of light.
I wasn't going to write this because I didn't want to give the wrong impression of my emotional state. The prolonged winter has made me a little blue, but I don't think I'm alone in this feeling.
Everything will be OK, though. It has been a long wait, but spring is coming and the days are getting longer. Things are slowly coming back to life - I am coming back to life, welcoming daylight a little more every day.
