That might not seem noteworthy, but those who know me know that's out of character for me. I like to plan things - I like having a routine, keeping a schedule and having everything around me neat and organized. I'll be the first to admit I often border on anal retentive - I can't sleep if there are dishes in the sink, if I notice a flaw in something I'm wearing (a small stain, a loss string) I'll fixate on it until I can change, and if the polish on one fingernail chips in a way that's noticeable? I'll remove all the polish and repaint.
Yeah, it's a little ridiculous, I know.
But here's the thing: it's effective. If something needs to be done, I make it happen - whether that's taking the apartment from disaster zone to pristine or writing 10 stories at work over the weekend to fill the Monday paper. Productive is my default setting and relaxation isn't something that comes easy to me. Put simply, I get things done - and until last week, I thought that was a good thing.
I don't have a lot of guilty pleasures but fitness magazines are definitely something I'd file into that category. Some people impulse buy packages of gum or chocolate bars when they're getting groceries, but for me, issues of Yoga Journal, Shape or Women's Health are often the unplanned items that make it into my shopping bags. I keep a big stack of these magazines on the back of the toilet in the bathroom, easy reading material when I'm soaking my sore muscles in the tub after a tough gym session.
I like these magazines because they give my brain a break - while I've learned some interesting things from different articles over the years, it's not exactly hard-hitting journalism that leads to a tremendous amount of thought from me as a reader.
Imagine my surprise when I picked up the most recent issue of Women's Health.
The article was titled The Young and the Restless (it can be read online here) focused on women not getting enough rest. The magazine partnered with The Doctors, a talk show, to conduct a survey to look at the issue and basically the findings were that we're "so perpetually 'on' that our bodies have forgotten how to relax, and that's driving us toward a dangerous type of exhaustion."
The article goes on to talk about the physical problems a lack of rest and living in a constant state of stress can cause by causing adrenal glands to work overtime pumping out cortisol, the stress hormone consistently linked with problems like indigestion and fatigue. Over time, this leads to burnout.
Without divulging into too much personal information, I've been dealing with some health related concerns over the last few months. Even though I'm generally pretty open about things here, these are some really intense personal things that I'm really not willing to go into detail about but what I can say is that I am alright and these issues aren't of grave concern. They're more irritating than anything and I've made some lifestyle changes in an effort to address them.
These things have led to some changes but not on the level I'd like to see, which has been tremendously frustrating for me. It didn't really click for me until I read that article that maybe these issues are rooted in something more serious - chronic failure to take adequate rest, to slow down, to relax.
There remaineth therefore a rest to the people of God. For he that is entered into his rest, he also hath ceased from his works, as God did from his. Let us labour therefore to enter into that rest, lest any man fall after the same example of unbelief.
Hebrews 4: 9-11
(Translation: GOD rested. He did his work - that whole 'creating all of existence' thing - then he took a break. It's safe to say there's nothing I'm doing that's more time consuming, challenging or important than that, so there's no real excuse for me to not take some down time sometimes.)
And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat.
Mark 6:31
(Direction straight from Jesus. Clearly, he knows what's up.)
Taking time to slow down and "do nothing" has not been easy for me. There's an episode of Modern Family where Mitchell tells Cam that he "doesn't find relaxing all that relaxing" and I tend to agree with that, especially when it often seems there are so many things I need to be doing. But I'm hoping forcing myself to live a little less scheduled for a while will help, both in terms of addressing the issues I'm dealing with and make me feel less guilty about not being on 24/7.
I can't say I won't make a to-do list this week, but I'm not going to feel bad leaving the dishes in the sink for a couple extra hours so I can finish watching the first season of The Newsroom. It's all about balance.
When thou liest down, thou shalt not be afraid: yea, thou shalt lie down, and thy sleep shall be sweet.
Proverbs 3:24
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