more

there's gotta be more than wanting more...

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.

 John 10:10 

"We want our lives to mean something. We don't want to just exist."

When I graduated from high school in 2007, I thought I had it all figured out.

I knew what I wanted to do - I wanted to be a reporter - and I knew the steps I'd have to take to get there. In the fall, I packed my things into my grandfather's truck and made the trip to New Brunswick to study journalism. Over the next four years, I threw myself into my major, balancing a full course load with part-time work at a grocery store and volunteering (and later, running) the campus newspaper. I was interesting and challenging and satisfying in so many different ways. I loved it.

I started working at a newspaper about two weeks before I graduated. The first few weeks were an adjustment, but in all honesty, I could not have had a better experience interning. The work was interesting and thanks to mentorship from a really great group of co-workers/bosses, I finished those four months a better reporter than I was when I started. I signed another contract as soon as my four month term ended. Sixteen months later, that contract job morphed into a full-time gig.

I've been there ever since.

There are still so many things I love about the job. My co-workers. My bosses. The thrill of breaking news. The endless opportunities to learn. Helping others tell their stories. People rag on the media all the time, but I really do believe storytelling is important and quality journalism has the power to make a huge difference in the world.

It's important I establish that before continuing. I want it to be clear what comes next is about me, not my workplace or the profession as a whole.

Here is the thing - I have been in somewhat of a rut lately. This is not a secret - I think most people who know me well are aware that I've been praying over the question "What's next?" And, considering I've been traveling one path for the better part 10 years, that hasn't been an easy thing to wrestle with.

And, to be honest, despite wrestling with it, I still don't have it figured out. I have a pretty solid idea of what I like, of what gifts and talents I possess, and how I might be able to combine the two, but I'm not sure what sort of "next" that is going to translate into or when "next" will move from concept to reality.

One thing I do know: being honest about it, with myself and with others, has helped a great deal. That's why I'm writing about it here. I wasn't going to and even considered deleting this a few times over the course of writing it, worried people will read too much into it or take it as something other than what it is: an attempt to work through some of the things that have been on my heart and mind lately.

We started a new sermon series at my church last week, with the big focus being on the whole idea that God always has more for it. If that's true, then it's also true that when we fall into ruts of being disgruntled or apathetic, that's more on us than it is on God. That thought has resonated so much with me this week and it's been amazing to see the difference rejecting the idea of "good enough and it could be worse" in favour of being willing to believe and pray for God's best has made.

It's not always easy, but it's certainly freeing. I'll take that any day.

with just a word, set the dark to flight

sing to the world: "let there be light!"

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen. 

Ephesians 3:20-21