it is well.

Therefore, I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment?

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
And yet I say unto you, That even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.
Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
Therefore take not thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
(For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Matthew 6:25-34. 

When the boat is tossed upon the waves

+ I wonder if you'll keep me safe.

even in the storms, I'll follow you

even in the storms, I' l l  f o l l o w  y o u. 

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. 

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

Philippians 4:6-8. 

though Satan should buffet, though trials should come

let this b l e s s e d  a s s u r a n c e  control:

that Christ has regarded my helpless estate,

and hath shed his own blood for my soul. 

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever. 

Psalm 23

Praise the Lord, with the world on your shoulders

Praise the Lord, when it seems too hard.

Praise the Lord, 'cause in every moment, Jesus Christ is Lord.

Even in the middle of the long, dark night

there is always g r a c e enough for today.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?

As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.

Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. 

For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,

Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

Romans 8: 35-39 

when all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory

+ I realize just how beautiful You are

and how great Your affections are for me.

O h ,  h o w  h e  l o v e s  u s 

summertime slow down

would you come and tear down the boxes that I have tried to put You in

let love come teach me who You are again. 

would you take me back to the place where my heart was only about You 

+ all I wanted was just to be with You

come do whatever you want to.

"Tired."

That is the first word I've been reaching for lately whenever someone asks me how I'm doing. 

It comes easily, often without hesitation. Sometimes it's accompanied by a work-related explanation or a remark about how summer's just aren't as relaxing as they were once upon a time. Almost always, the immediate response is a true one; tired is a pretty good way to describe my state lately. 

The good news in it all: this state refers almost exclusively to the idea of being physically in need of rest. A couple weeks ago, a pastor at our church preached on the whole idea of the sabbath - specifically, the fact that we live in a time where we tend to ignore it. Taking breaks and resting just...isn't something we do well in 2015. We are on all the time. We're plugged in. We're working.  We're busy. We don't stop. We don't rest.

This is something I can relate to on so many levels. I'll even take it a step further and add that, on the rare occasion when I do actually take that down time, I feel terribly guilty about it, knowing there is probably something I could be doing. I like feeling productive. I like to-do lists. I like getting things done. I don't do idle well so more often than not, I'll just go and go and go until I can't anymore.

And even then, I'll try to push through it. The end result: for me, it looks like low energy, physical illness, waking up tired, writers block. Just total fatigue to the point where stopping isn't an option anymore - it's a requirement.

Sunday's sermon focused on the parable of the sower and the seed (Matthew 13). In this parable, Jesus spoke about a sower scattering seeds on four different types of ground: a hard surface, a stony surface, a thorny surface, and good soil.

The hard surface is the hardened heart - the place where the seed lands, and is immediately snatched up by the enemy. There's no chance of the seed taking root there.

The stony land is a bit better, but not much. The seed planted there lacks deep roots - and that's a problem, because those deep roots are needed to live.

Although the conditions of the heart change every day, most of the time, I can't relate much to the first two types of planting conditions. It's the third one - the thorny ground - that gets me. The thorny ground is the heart of the person who has too much going on. As the pastor put it: "you can be choked and strangled by your calendar." 

Um...amen?

In all seriousness, I've found that to be so true. I've also come to find it's incredibly problematic, at least in my own life, because here is the thing: being a slave to the calendar and feeling burnt out as a result hinders my ability to love God and love others well.


And on the seventh day God ended His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done. 
Then God blessed the seventh day and sanctified it, because in it He rested from all His work which God had created and made.

Genesis 2:2-3

Why am I writing about this here? The purpose isn't to complain about being OHSOBUSY or attempt to garner sympathy or anything. Instead, it's an attempt to explain what ultimately amounts to a heart issue I've struggled with since...well, for years. The internet makes it so easy to fake it and paint a distorted picture of reality - something I'm not interested in doing.

My vacation begins in four days. I'm heading to Ontario for most of my nine-ish days off, and my goal for the time off is simple: to recharge. To sleep in. To not go to the gym. To eat a lot of great food. To go on adventures with my best friend. And to not feel tethered to my desk or my email or my phone for a little while.

And I'm not going to feel guilty about any of it at all. 

(It's probably also worth noting after DAYS of feeling creatively blocked, this post came SO easily - which tells me it's one of those things that needed to come out before anything else can flow freely again)